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Thou, O Lord, art Satisfied!
My coming to the local churches to pursue Christ began in my senior year in high school. My brother invited me to a young people’s meeting his friend had been taking him to. My brother had said, “It’s good. You can ask questions.” So I went along. We were brought up Catholic and the many Sunday schools I attended never seemed to satisfy. The Sunday Mass was boring to me and not so glorious. Most attendees were sullen and the fellow Sunday school students were not very friendly outside of Sunday school. In the meantime, by the Lord’s mercy, I read the New Testament little by little before going to bed many nights and had gained some knowledge of God’s word. I began to wonder, “How do we know that the way we are worshipping God is the way He wants us to worship?” And “When the Bible says that we shall love the Lord our God with all of our heart and all our strength, it must be true; otherwise, why would He write it?” Although the young people meeting didn’t answer these questions specifically, I felt something different about these young people. They knew the truth in the Word, and were genuine lovers of Christ to whom I was already attracted. With them, I spontaneously began calling on the Lord Jesus.
When I went to college, a lot of things were new to me, especially the many different fellowship groups that existed on campus. That first year I attended Protestant, non-denominational, Catholic and social groups. My roommate and my best friend in the dorm were Christians, and my friends in the same academic department joined Chinese associations and attended the dance parties. At the same time, some Christian sisters from the local church, one of whom I knew from high school, also visited me in the dorms. They ate lunch, read ministry pamphlets and prayed with me once a week. When one of them could not join us, another would always be there. They were so busy with school but never ceased to take care of me. I occasionally went to dinner and a home meeting with them on Friday nights. But other Fridays I would be out with friends. Some weeknights, I would visit other fellowship groups. On Sundays I would attend Catholic Mass. Nevertheless, the brothers and sisters in the local church always gave me the best impression. I not only always felt welcomed but felt that they were genuinely godly and loving.
Finally, I was tired of all the running around. I made a little prayer to the Lord to just bring me to where He is happy. One Friday night at a dance party with friends, I found myself asking in my heart, “What am I doing here?” I all of a sudden felt very out-of-place. From then on, I never returned to those social events, but rather began to meet with the brothers and sisters in the local church in the Friday night home meetings more often than before. Every time I went there, I just felt really satisfied and at home. Later, on one occasion, sitting down and watching all the dear brothers and sisters busy with practical matters in the meeting hall, I sensed a real peace and joy within; here is where I felt that the Lord was really happy, satisfied and glorified through them.
The summer after my first year of college I was baptized. Since then the Lord has been more and more real to me. I still recall one gospel meeting held in Berkeley. In that meeting, I first saw the eternal economy of God like never before. From one brother’s sharing after another, I felt the Bible was being opened to me, answering all my questions. God, in the beginning in Genesis, has a heart’s desire to have man filled with His life. The man will match Him and be one with Him for His expression and authority. Though man fell, God did not give up. In the end in Revelation He gains this one man who matches Him, His Bride, and He is the Bridegroom. Everything in between in the Bible speaks of Christ, the God-man who is the prototype of that which He had desired. This Christ is also the means, the way and the life to make us into His Bride to accomplish this desire in His heart. When I finished hearing this, I praised the Lord! The Bible is really a book, with beginning and end, and could have been written by none other than God Himself. At the time, the Lord was shining strongly within me through the speaking, making everything I’d heard, read, questioned in the Bible and about God real, clear and answered. I went back to the dorms feeling wonderfully happy and set free. I even wanted to read the Bible more. Every verse I read was so living and new. Even the footnotes by Witness Lee compiled in the Recovery Version of the New Testament were so rich! Later, the Lord also showed me that He wants to wrought His very self into my being. This is wonderful, loving and wise.
Because of the Lord’s mercy and grace, He has found me and brought me to a place to pursue with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart (2 Tim. 2:22). In my experience, there is no better place than here where I can love and know Christ, get the truth and its riches, serve Him and be built up with others for His making us a part of that Bride He wanted from beginning to the end. I really enjoy this portion of a hymn
Oh, what a joy to have this blessed oneness!
We sense that Thou, O Lord, art satisfied!
And we too share this blissful satisfaction–
Sweet foretaste of the Bridegroom with His Bride.
B. C.
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